The Art History Lesson of Terror
by FriendofFoes
Summary: It's time for a new class. Art History! But what happens when Emmett, Alice, and Jasper join in on looking at the book?   Mild language   Dedicated to by friend, Christie.


I stared at the six pound textbook placed in front of me. Edward and I decided to choose an elective that we hadn't taken. And when I say "We hadn't taken", Edward hadn't taken in many years. The only choice was Art History.

"This class never made any sense." He stared at me as he drove us to his house after school.

"Come on," I grinned, "It will be fun. Besides, the first assignment is easy. Choose a piece of work that you like."

For once in my life, I saw him pout. "Do you know some of the renaissance pictures are of naked people?"

"Say, 'Nudes'." I giggled, "It sounds better." His lips turned into that crooked smile that I loved so much. We arrived at the house, when suddenly…

"Come on, you guys!" Alice pulled me out of the car, holding the six pound book as it was a feather. "We want to look at the art, too!"

I heard Edward groan as he was picked up by Emmett. He wrestled around a lot, but it was no use. We were in the house and on the couch faster than you could say Art.

"Come on," Jasper said, "Open the book!" I looked skeptically at the other before opening the book. I opened it to the Ancient Egyptian Art.

"Hey!" Emmett shouted, "What's that on the man's chin?" He pointed to a picture that was called _The Palette of Narmer._

Edward sighted, "It's a goatee."

"I want one!" He yelled.

"We're doing our homework!" He retorted. "Just go find Rosalie and bug her! Maybe if you ask her, she'll get you one."

Emmett looked in deep though, "Nah. I'll just stay here with my favorite bro and his charming girlfriend." I groaned. Why me?

I turned to another section – uh oh, it was greek art. Prepare for major embarrassment.

"Who's that woman?" Jasper asked

"She's a Venus statue." I answered.

"Venus," Alice answered, "Hey do you know how Venus was born?"

I couldn't help but blush at that last comment. "Yes." I squeaked out.

Edward grabbed the book and turned it to another chapter. Thank you, the renaissance."

"Who is that woman?" Jasper asked.

"This is the _Mona Lisa_." I answer.

"So her last name is Lisa and her first is Mona," Emmett stated, "Interesting."

"No," Edward fumed, "Her name is Lisa Gherardini del Giocondo."

"But I heard she was Leonardo in drag." Alice asked.

"It's not." Edward stated. Alice was about to ask him another but he sent her a glare that could have frozen the entire earth.

We kept looking and spotted a few that we liked. Edward had chosen the Degas's _The Glass of Absinthe. _I was tied between two paintings, so I decided to keep looking. That all changed when we say a weird picture

"Whoa!" Jasper said, "Who drew that painting?!?!"

"I don't even want to know…"I answered.

Emmett looked at it sideways, "Is it just me or dose that green thing have four…"

"Yes." Edward quickly answered. We were looking at a strange picture called _The Robing of the Bride _by Max Ernst.

"It says that he loved birds." Edward quoted from the book, and that is woman with the owl for the head is his third wife. It says it was a dream."

We all took one look at the picture again and broke out in laughter. We couldn't stop; Jasper was feeling and feeding our emotions. Finally, after six minutes of intense laughing, I realized we had knocked down the book. I grabbed it and was assaulted with a picture.

It was of a woman leaning over a candle, with someone on the floor, holding something in a piece of cloth. Wait, was that… Oh my gosh!!!

"She a killer." I whispered.

"Who is?" Edward asked as the rest of them surrounded me and the book.

"Artemisia Gentileschi," I answered, "She painted a picture of a girl holding a man's disembodied head." We all stared at the picture.

"Now I see why…" I heard Alice speak.

"What?" I asked

"It says here that she was raped at the age of seventeen." Poor girl. "She went under the torture of a Sible." Ouch.

"Well," Emmet got up from the floor, "I know what my favortie painting in." Then he yelled, "Esme! We getting a new picture! It's called _The robing of the Bride_!" That was it. Edward snapped.

"Emmett." Edward tried to punch him, but ended up punching the wall. Uh oh…

"EDWARD!!!!!!! EMMETT!!!" I heard Esme yell.

"Oh crap."Emmett and Edward both ran out the door, Esme hot on their heels.

A/N: You are probably wondering what a sible is. In Artemisia Gentileschi time, ther was a torture device for women called the sible, in which rope would be strung through their fingers and tightened. Your wrists would alos be tied together, which really isn't fun.

See ya,

FriendofFoes


End file.
